It was 4 weeks ago, in a hot amusement park bathroom with tears and snot all over my face, that I had my moment. I think everyone has a moment in life where they decide to make a change for the better. Mine was to lose weight.
I don't have a memory of being thin and truly confident. I didn't gain weight from having babies or from stress at starting college. Being big is all I've ever known. Sure I've gone through phases where I lost weight. I played 4 years of volleyball in high school. But even then I was bigger than the other girls. I always found comfort in thinking I was a big girl but not that big. Until 4 weeks ago.
I think a common misconception about overweight people is that we know how big we are but we're too lazy to do anything about it. The thing is...I have lived many years of my life in denial. I knew I was big, but I had no idea that I had indeed gotten that big. I avoided scales and mirrors like the bubonic plague and tore the sizes out of my shirts so that I could pretend they weren't really 2X's. I dodged cameras and any event that would require bathing suits or shorts. But when my best friend invited me to an amusement park and I had to literally manipulate my fat in front of 30+ people to get the harness to lock-down so that I could ride a roller coaster, there was nowhere for me to hide.
The following week I laid in bed for most of the daylight hours. I barely touched food and I basically had a 7 day pity party that gave me plenty of time to think. "Why do I eat so much?" (There were times that I would order two different ice-cream desserts from fast-food places to eat in one sitting.) I love food. The taste, the texture is all very enjoyable to me. But I think the reason that I ate so much was because food was my vice. When I got sad, hurt, angry, stressed, it didn't matter, food would be there to soothe me.
So I took a week to pull myself together and then started making a game plan. The day I went to the amusement park...I weighed 306 pounds. My goal weight is somewhere between 130-150 depending on what I look/feel like when I get there. I have a friend who chose to consult a doctor and I followed her example. I made an appointment and after a consultation I was prescribed Adipex. Adipex is medicine that assists in weight-loss. It helps you keep hunger in check and gives you a boost of energy to help workout. It IS a stimulant, which means you have to be very careful about mixing it with caffeine or anything that would further stimulate your heart. This is a prescription medicine and should never be taken without consulting a doctor. (I am not a doctor or certified to advise people in any medical way I am simply telling my own story). I have also been writing in a food journal. This has been extremely helpful so that I can see what I put into my body. I have been eating no more than 1500 calories per day and I have been selective in choosing the foods.
I have been dieting and taking Adipex for exactly one week today and I have lost a total of 9 pounds so far. Today will be the first day I will be adding exercise. I plan to get on the elliptical for as long as I can manage and do a few ab exercises. I have a long journey ahead of me but I will be writing all along the way. I hope to inspire some of you to join me and to make the decision to get healthy!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment